Your cake of choice can be very telling

Red velvet cake – who even are you?

Red velvet is a gorgeous, rich cake with so much depth. But it’s also unknowable – it’s a little vanilla and a little chocolate at the same time. And it’s red (the clue is in the name!). Just who are you, red velvet?? If red velvet cake is your God-tier cake we reckon you’re a bit of an enigma. You keep everyone guessing. People are drawn to you for fun, but stick around for the intrigue. You sultry saucepot.

Vanilla cake – are you discerning or boring?

Vanilla has turned into a bit of a pejorative term, associated with being basic. But when done right, nothing is quite like a delightfully light vanilla cake. Vanilla cake isn’t the plain Jane everyone makes it out to be (layered with buttercream and jam, it’s incredible). Those who go for vanilla cake are probably revealing a lot about their traditional tastes. They tend to be a bit posh. They’re also showing off their ‘refined palette’ and are borderline sanctimonious about their tastes – and no one likes a sanctimonious show off. 

Carrot cake – the intellectual choice

With warming spices and a moist crumb, we think that carrot cake is a rather cerebral cake. It’s so much more than a sum of its parts, with all the ingredients working hard together to come up with a unique taste. If carrot cake is your favourite cake, then we reckon you’re a deep thinker, perhaps even an over-thinker. An intellectual, for sure. You probably spend your time with your nose in an Oscar Wilde book, only coming up for slices of delicious cake and debate.

Chocolate cake – here for a good time, everytime

A real crowd pleaser, decent chocolate cake hits differently to any other cake. Both kids and adults love chocolate cake. There are kids’ books just about chocolate cake. And it’s for good reason. Chocolate cake is the cake version of a hedonistic party animal. It bursts onto the scene, in any situation, bringing joy and fun. But it never thinks about the consequences – in chocolate cake’s case, stains. We aren’t here to judge, we love chocolate cake too. All we’re saying is you’re a bit messy, ok?

Lemon cake – sweet ‘n’ sassy

Lemon cake looks so innocent and simple, like butter wouldn’t melt. It’s kind of wholesome, isn’t it? But then you bite into a good lemon cake and wham – your taste buds come alive, tingling with the zing of the zesty sponge. Don’t judge a cake by its cover, we say. And the same goes for lemon-cake fans. It’s always the quiet ones – hiding in plain sight. They sit on the sidelines and then whammo – they deliver some sass just when you’re not expecting it. As romantic potentials, they tend to play hard to get and often leave you on read, popping up sporadically with a "wyd". Sound like you, lemon-cake lover?

Rainbow cake – full of the joys

Aesthetically pleasing and full of brightness, rainbow cake is always going to make you smile. It’s a pick-me-up in cake form. If rainbow cake is your favourite cake, we reckon you’re a true optimist, searching for a rainbow after a storm, glass always half-full. You could just go for straight-up vanilla cake, but you’re always going to go for the brightest thing you can get your hands on. So what if you’re more style over substance? The world needs more of YOU.

Marble cake – the diplomat’s choice

The intertwining of two cakes – light and dark – marble cake is a real meeting of two different sides of the same coin. It balances both tastes perfectly, and brings out the best of both worlds. If you opt for marble cake as your favourite, we bet you think you’re a diplomat, able to see both sides of an argument. When a friend is in a pickle, you try to offer some balanced viewpoints to get them to see another perspective. Some might say you’re a bit of a devil’s advocate sitting on the fence, never making a choice… and that can be a bit annoying.

Coffee cake – are you lying to yourself?

When someone picks coffee cake we can’t help but think they don’t actually like cake. Unless it’s one of our amazing, pimped coffee cakes – they are increds. Otherwise we think those who choose coffee cake are just being polite and going for the least cake-flavoured cake they could find. And we’re not sure coffee-cake people are being that authentic. No shade to them. They probably aren’t even aware of it themselves. But we think they’re not always that good at being honest about how they’re feeling. Let it out coffee-cake lovers – we’re here for you (with a slice of cake)!

So which cake is your favourite, and does this ring true with you? And what about other cake flavours – what do you think they give away about their fans’ personalities?